The thing that i most fear is coming

I felt that i am useless..I can't even bring back Jin.
Useless..seriously useless. Why i fighting for so long..so hopefully, but still can't change anything.
I want to cry, but i can't cry out. I didn't feel like crying.
But my feeling, is worst than crying. My day just like covered by clouds, there is no more shinny, bright day.
Suddenly just know, i can't even share my feeling to my friends, they dun like me talks about this.
Hahhaa(dry laugh) i am so lonely.
I still can't believe, if he really leave KAT-TUN. Just say i can't accept! ><
I really very upset now, i can't feel anything now..NUMB.
When jin wrote in the manual..my heart is breaking, breaking into tiny pieces, until, can't stick it back anymore.
I dun want he leave! I still so stubborn...i know! L.A is Jin's biggest dream! I know! Jin would like to choose his dream rather than cares our feelings or KATTUN's feelings!
I know already...when the first time i crush into Jin. But now, i hope him back? Why i can't understand Jin??

I really very disappointed. Not Jin, not KAT-TUN. Is to me.
I can't even support Jin's decision! why??!! I rather hope he gives up his dream back to KAT-TUN! Why i have such stupid, brainless thinking? I really angry myself. Did you forget your promise to Jin?
the promise is forever support Jin no matter what's his decision! He smoke, he drink, he clubbing. I can even accept it so easily, just because, THAT IS JIN. but why Jin leaving KAT-TUN to chase his dream, i can't accept..
I am such a useless person. Fight all night, vote, sigh petitions, please friends to vote , doing stupid stuffs, but at last, i am fighting for nothing. Sad myself.
But, there will be the final decision again. And i know, the end is definately not what i badly wish for.
Maybe i just desperate to see the factory's skit? =D I miss Jin's naive smiles when with KAT-TUN.. peek the LOVES between akame..T^T now sure is Kokame already.....
But, at least, i tried before, i determined before. I will still support you all.
because, you 6 are my precious one, the most crazy love, listening to you all's NEIRO, i believe the songs will forever continue, and having a Promise song with 6 of you.

I love you all..no matter how you all turn into. KAT-TUN is 6 for me. FOREVER, eien.




LET'S KEEP THE FAITH WHILE SINGING A PROMISE SONG TO BRING BACK OWR PACEFUL DAYS

from left to right,Jin, koki, Junno,Maru (down) Kame, ueda.








KAT-TUN